My sisters and I have come to a unanimous agreement that it takes a special kind of person to love a member of our family. We are naturally quite different individuals, but there are some likenesses in our personalities that we also see in our parents and aunts and uncles (we have no grandparents). Our father’s side of the family is the one we are closer to. We are compiled of some very intelligent, stubborn, hard headed, condescending, logical thinking, talkative, emotionally disturbed people. There is no arguing with us; we never quit. Sometimes you can’t even have a conversation because we are too caught up in wanting to be right about everything. The men and women who married into this family all share one main trait: they can put up with us.
Crazy comes in all different sizes and shapes, it even comes in different colors in my family. My parents have been married for 30 years. They grew up next door to each other in J.P. (a neighborhood in Boston). My dad has 2 brothers and a sister; all married with children. The older brother married a woman who I am very close with. We have a lot in common; I’d say I’m as close to her as I am to my father’s sister. Her husband isn’t very happy anymore either. The younger brother’s wife is my godmother. We are not close; she’s hardly even close to her husband or children. I don’t think she is happy with the family she ended up in. I know that my other aunt isn’t. I never realized it until I left home, but my mom is not happy either.
My sister was lucky enough to find someone who would love her. They got married and had a child together. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, my sister divorces her husband. She decided she was not happy and she needed to do what was best for her. She has not had another relationship since, and I think its because her standards are set so high. If you want to end up with the right person you have to be picky, right? But then, you end up pushing people away who you might’ve otherwise let in. It just seems so rare to find anyone special enough to handle someone like us.
I wonder if I’m ever going to meet someone that special. Someone who could love me better than I love myself because they love me from the outside. They don’t know what its like inside of me, but the know something I don’t. They know what I am ; they know how I exist in the world outside of myself. To me, that would be amazing.